this is fucking bullshit.

because we started how we started, i'm now the one second guessing everything. i'm now the one practicing restraint because of how much i was hurt in the beginning. i'm now the one who consistently can't get over whether you're actually into this, us, me, or whether you're just trying to convince yourself you are.

i said what i said, so i can't break things off. given what's already happened and what's happening, i'll be damned if this ever works out. so what do i do? do i just wait until you call it off? question is, will i have gotten over this at that point and fallen truly in love with you, or do i just grow more and more bitter by the day and act surprised when this train finally crashes and burns?