open letter. to you, this time.

hello,

it's me here. i told you i'd never give up on you and i still won't, and though i'll always be here if you need me, i'm going to cut myself off from you. it's hard enough to accept the fact that my offers of friendship not only consistently get turned down, but more often do i never hear back from you than the courtesy to let me know that you politely decline or that you even acknowledge what i'm trying to do. i finally recognize now that i am truly being taken for granted, and it's almost worse now that we are trying to be friends than when we were trying to make a relationship work.

in being taken for granted, my efforts to let you know that someone out there cares and will always be here for you not being somewhat acknowledged at the very least, is more detrimental to me, my heart and health than i'd originally thought i could deal with.

there are two responses i get from you, either an apathetic "eh" or nothing at all - most times the usual response is nothing at all. nothing then, later, or ever.

i offered to cook you food when you were hungry.
i offered sleep and solace when you were tired.
i offered friendship and companionship when you were alone.
i offered massages when you were in pain.
i offered an ear when you were ready to talk.
i offered a helping hand when you couldn't carry the weight alone.
i offered random emails and texts just to wish you a great day and remind you that someone out there was thinking about you.
i offered random notes that you might find when you least expect to let you know that you were on my mind.

i guess none of those really ever mattered.

all i ask is please don't forget who i was. if i end up never having held any significance to you, that causes me irreparable pain but i am what i mean to you and i guess at some point, it will have been nothing.

love,

___